When I opened the Bikram Yoga Studio in Stockton I was like Tarzan beating my chest, yodeling the Bikram name. I was so happy and so proud to have my very own studio and to be teaching the Bikram Method to the Stockton community. Well, that yodeling worked! The success of my studio was over the top. I loved the Bikram brand and the Bikram way. It all made sense to me. My strict teaching style reflected my passion for Bikram as well. I was described as militant one too many times, but I was flying high, my studio was packed, and the miracle of the Bikram series was working wonders.
It wasn’t long after I opened the Stockton Studio that I met my second Yoga Teacher. In a very short period of time I began to work very closely with her. Whether my students knew it or not, they felt the effects of my work as her teachings came pouring out of me in class. I was being taught yoga: Inner creates the outer.
As we worked together, she made me more aware of myself. One part of that awareness - A BIG PART - was my control issues. My teacher taught me that your outside circumstances are the direct result of your inner workings. So I began to look very closely at what was going on outside of me—who I was hanging around with, what was coming out of my mouth, the way I ran my company and the way I ran my classroom. It all told a very clear story. As it works, in the process of trying to let go of my control issues, the universe created some very powerful and painful experiences to help me change my desire to be in control. I will give myself credit that I utilized these painful experiences as they are designed to be used—to help me evolve.
Slowly I opened up to a whole new way of interacting with life. The process gave new meaning to the practice of non-reaction, stillness, meditation, non-attachment and surrender. All of this poured out of me as I taught yoga. The entire process was excruciating. Most days I wanted to come out of my skin while resisting over and over the temptation to control my outside circumstances. I often did not want to get out of bed because of the physical and emotional changes associated with letting go was debilitating. This was not yoga for wimps!
During this time my passion for the Bikram Yoga series never waned. As a matter of fact, it only got stronger. As I began to understand energy more, I realized that the yoga was making people conduits for consciousness. It’s genuinely incredible! Completely aside from the teachings of Bikram Choudhury, I made my own discoveries for what yoga does to transmute the cellular system. Bikram’s mantras and the asanas became more powerful to me as I began to understand the depth of them.
The yoga helps release the physical imprints that are embedded in the cellular memory brought on by the emotional being. When coupled with the proper use of free will, one can create significant changes and purify the body on a cellular level, resulting in a higher state of consciousness. Wow! Hot Yoga is quite the viable option for those who are interested in evolution! Heat and friction by design transmute energy and we are all energy beings and besides that, what are we doing on the planet anyway? We are all a part of nature and all of nature is in a constant state of change and evolution.
This process was so painful that it brought forth a well of compassion from within me. When I opened my first yoga studio, the strict style of teaching felt right to me and I thought it was cool. Shoot, I was proud of it. It must have made sense to others at the time, too, but I do not identify with this style anymore. My relationship to the 26 and 2 has changed. I have always had a tremendous passion for teaching and through this transformation I rechanneled that passion into a teaching style that is educational, compassionate and simple. I now know to let people have their experience within the confines of discipline.
I have learned that yoga is transformative. The act of concentration is not the act of control. Yoga is a wisdom to live by that helps people obtain peace from attachment. Through the act of letting go of control and fear, one moves into a state of surrender where we find the spark of divinity inside of us that is the True You. Yoga is Union with this spark.
In the process of my own transformation I became a purer version of myself, which led me to develop my own brand, True You Hot Yoga. Which has led me to this blog.
So welcome to True You. And welcome to my blog.